The Pineneedle Collective: feminism

"Ok, I'm wearing my long figure-hugging blue dress, and I've been yelled at 3 times in the 5 minutes I've been waiting for the bus *thumbs down emoji*"

This was the message that I got from Katie as she was making her way over to my house to take outfit photos together in our current favourite clothes.

This, and the fact that we look super don't-fuck-with-me in the above photo, prompted me to write a short open letter to all the creepy men out there (and yeah yeah, #notallmen and all that - but cis-gendered men, you really do overrepresent yourselves in this domain, so I don't wanna hear it).

Dear creepy men:

We are not your property.

We do not exist for your eyes and your amusement.

And we will not put up with your judgements on our outfits and your comments on our bodies.

Believe it or not, but we're actually not dressing up for you.

Sure, every woman's reason for dressing the way she does is different. But we dress up because we love fashion. We dress up because it feels good. We dress up for the sake of dressing up. Our outfits are an expression of our feelings and personalities. And we dress up because we want other cute, well-dressed women to admire our outfits.

Not for one second, while we were deciding what to wear this morning, did we think "golly I hope some creep screams at me out of their car! That'll validate my outfit choices/attractiveness/appearance and totally boost my self-confidence!"

Sorry, but it is NOT a compliment. In fact, it's the complete opposite. It's creepy, it's unwelcome, and it makes us extremely uncomfortable.

Why?

Because societally, historically, culturally - men hold power over women. Because structural misogyny is a thing and what a woman chooses to wear is still grounds for abuse and discrimination.

Because a woman's, and NOT a man's outfit choices are still used as grounds to dismiss her authority, experience and intelligence.

Because female victims of abuse are still blamed for their own assaults because of what they wear.

Because "boys will be boys" is still used as a legitimate excuse for aggressive behaviour.

Because most women still don't feel safe walking home alone at night.

Our choice to wear a tight skirt doesn't give you an invitation to beep at us with your car horn. Choosing not to wear a bra isn't an excuse to call obscenities at us out your car window.

And yes, when we all live in a totally equal, utopian, sex-positive society where pay is equal, women have beards and men wear make up, then maybe, maybe screaming your approval of a woman's outfit out of your car window will be a completely acceptable form of admiration. But that world doesn't exist. So for the time being, creepy men: will you please shut your mouths. And if you witness this behaviour, please open your mouths and tell that person that what they're doing is wrong. And why.

Because one day, we want to be able to wear whatever we want, and not feel unsafe or discriminated against because of that.